do not laugh

semicolon heart tattoo

please don’t laugh
when i tell you
i may be going crazy.
i am not joking.
i am actually sharing with you
my reality.
i may not be able
to articulate enough
how i stare at my wrists
for hours, imagining razors
running over them at every turn.
you cannot possibly know
how hard it is for me
to stop myself
from banging my head
against the bathroom wall again.
so, please don’t treat
my confession as something
to be blithe about.
i may not be a celebrity
who will cause a buzz
when they hang themselves
or overdose their woes
into a self-made oblivion,
however, i bet you’d feel guilty
over how you should have listened better
or how you shouldn’t have cracked a joke
when i dared to be honest.
you see when i’d finally
have the courage
to end the life i have been
aching to leave behind for years now,
i will slip away quietly.
you will only know of it
when i am truly gone.

so, again, don’t laugh
when i tell you
i am depressed beyond reason.
don’t stay away
because you can’t bear
to hear my crazy talk anymore.
this is a plea
not just for me,
but for you, too.
i don’t want you to regret
how you treated my sickness,
when i am finally brave enough
to just let go.

semicolon eternity tattoo

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