To the Warrior I Never Expected

Hardy Atienza - The Man of My Life

You once said
You couldn’t handle me
At my worst.
I was hurt by that,
So much so that I never forgot
That statement, for the longest time.
However, now that I’m battling
With a war that’s raging
Inside my head; and I’m
Afraid to lose my sanity
To the demons inside me
That are taking hold
Of my very soul, you did
A three-hundred sixty degree turn.
You stepped up and
Made it up to me in ways,
I could never have imagined.

Aboard your motorbike,
We chased sunsets
Amidst moored yachts
And meals of shrimps.
We journeyed through
Hills and valleys to enjoy
An undulating sea of blooms
Of pinks and yellows,
Of oranges, magentas, and golds.
We traversed dips and turns
To get to sea ports and
Ferry rides that brought us
To islands of beauty unrivaled;
To peaceful roads; gentle lakes;
Caves we couldn’t bring ourselves
To explore because I, ironically,
Couldn’t handle the descent into the dark;
And, to white sand beaches
Whose turquoise waters met
Seemingly endless cerulean skies
Littered with playful, feathery clouds.

You, who once feared the monster in me,
Are now facing it head-on and
Saying that it could not win.
Your ways of helping me cope
With what ails my mind and soul,
Are so unexpected, yet so welcome
Because they are gently taking me
Into an embrace so beautiful,
It is not letting me go.
No, it is hell-bent on holding me
Close to its heart.
And, while thoughts of
Hurting myself are still there,
Just like the marks I make on my skin
When I get anxious or just wanting
To claw at the veins that are helping
Me to stay alive,
They are getting fewer.
I could feel them slinking away
From my psyche, daunted
By the love, it is now being shown.

You once told me,
You couldn’t handle me at my worst.
Yet here you are now,
Fighting my battle with me.
You have become the warrior
I didn’t expect to be embroiled
In this war I once thought
Was just my own.
So, I thank you for becoming
The person I didn’t expect
You to become;
For holding on to the idea
That I can still be saved;
And, for showing me
That your care and love
Have the strength to see me through
The darkest of my soul’s midnights.

You may also like

1 Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *